LIFE vs MYSTERIES

During these few years of walking with God, I found myself falling in love with a lot; a lot of things around God, a lot of things about God, a lot of things resembling God, a lot really!

The quagmire, nonetheless, was that my love didn't translate to becoming who I thought I loved, and so the natural response followed: an attendant frustration!

Did I not love God enough?

Was I created just to keep wishing for these realities?

Why is this not working for me?

Does it even work for people like me?

These and many more were questions that stared me in the face every passing day.

Who else has been in my shoes?

Well, let me tell you a short story about my walk with God...

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Having been raised in a very prophetic church, all I had as a definition of Christian life was seeing into the spirit and making proclamations. 

So when I gave my life to Christ (sorry, when Christ gave me His Life), I became excited that I'd soon start doing these things.

On gaining admission into the university, I discovered my taste buds changed a little. This time, it was MYSTERIES!

Since it's the SUPERnatural, there's got to be so many mysteries in this kingdom...😂

I would miss classes for many days just listening to messages that expounded mysteries.

Mystery of obedience...

Mystery of giving...

Mystery of light...

The seven dimensions of light in the spirit...

And so on!

Oh, I loved them!

I could expound those mysteries myself, so in no time I had people clamoring around me. Before long, I also did accumulate a few variables. 

Oh my!

Oratory + composure + steeze + charisma equaled a "mama" title and I did not fail to carry it about whithersoever I goeth.

But deep down, I knew I wasn't changing. I knew I wasn't touching reality. I felt empty. But who would understand or even believe what I felt?

Did I try reaching out? Of course, I did but it didn't seem like "this Woman Of God" could be saying the truth.

My mentors thought I was just being humble!

It continued until a particular meeting was hosted at my school, and after the meeting, I sank into depression.

 Guess the cause of the depression?

I was angry with God that Pst. Lawrence Oyor came to my school and all through the meeting, I didn't fall under the anointing!🤣🤣🤣🤣

Funny, right?

I wished it was funny back then.

"God, can't I receive like others?"

"Can't I serve you?"

"What's the big sin in my life that you can't overlook and make this Christianity thing work?", I cried rivers that evening.

A few weeks later, I was still angry with God and a friend came around to invite me to a bible study

"Sandy, It's not a mystery catching meeting; we're just studying the LIFE of Christ," she said.

"Kai!"

It re-echoed severally.

For a few minutes, I became disoriented with place, time, and even person...

Then I heard a voice in my spirit," Sandra, do you desire LIFE or MYSTERIES?"

"Am I enough, or are you searching for what to add to me?"

Then it became crystal clear!

THAT ANSWER!

I had despised the MAN, JESUS!

I had despised the simplicity of the gospel!

I stayed fixated on that which is not bread!

I had MINORED on the MAJOR and MAJORED on the MINOR.

I could not BECOME him because I wasn't BEHOLDING him!

"MERCY LORD", I cried as I realized my folly!

(...to be continued)