UNBRIDLED

"Lord, I can't lose this one. You gave him to me. Not after the labours I've invested over him. No! He can't be lost the devil", I cried

"Why are you suddenly involving God? He gave him to you but you willingly delivered him into my hands. Now I'm not willing to let go and not even your cries can reverse what you've done" he said

I knew who it was. The accuser himself! On days like this I could have simply uttered,"the Lord rebuke you" but I knew I was the one who needed to be rebuked for my foolishness. How can I even be demanding the soul of David now?

Tears trickled down my cheeks as I traveled down the memory lane

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It's been two months since I came home. ASUU has struck again 😂. The only reason potent enough to get me to come home was ASUU strike- and yes! They got me this time.

So that fateful Monday evening, as I walked through the exit door after youth fellowship, I had preached a message that evening and invited everyone to the place of Communion with God. Then he approached me with a mixture of worry, fear and uncertainty written all over his face. There was a dead silence for a few seconds... 

"Sandra, I'm David. I don't know if you know me but I've been a member of the youth fellowship for years now. You seem not to come back very often though..." He said 

"Hello, I've heard so much about you. Nice meeting you "

I extended my hand but was greeted with a free flow of tears gushing down his face. Still in my bewilderment I heard him mutter some words that sounded like "I'm tired of this life. Can you help me find my way to your Jesus?"

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David was growing so fast. He truly gave himself wholly to prayers, the Word and discipleship. Yeah! He's the first seal of my apostleship in my church and I poured out everything without reservations

But before long, I noticed his puffiness. He now calls me "sis" instead of "ma". Worse still, the other day I gave him an instruction and he insisted that God told him otherwise

"What?!"

A guy I filled with the Holy Ghost is now acting more spiritual than the pope! I taught you virtually everything you know! I fasted and prayed several weeks and months before you could be delivered from your addiction.

"How exactly can you ever think of rubbing shoulders with me?"

"I bore the arrows shot at you in the spirit. I was a covering for you. Like how could you think of starting to dishonor me?"

I wept bitterly. I even went to plead my case with Abba but He wasn't saying anything about it

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David truly wasn't doing it right but somehow I knew this hurt wasn't just about his attitude towards me. Beyond the hurt was jealousy and pride.

David had started making his own disciples. He had even started giving little word of knowledge while I just remained with the Word of God.

In fact, he was commanding the attention of a lot of ladies and they were giving him a lot of gifts.

Yes! I didn't tell you earlier

I loved David. I had a thing for him but I couldn't do anything about it. I was satisfied that he was always with me for trainings and teachings. I had hoped he might hear God about us one day but I hoped in futility.

"David who am I to you?", I summoned courage to ask him one day

"Ah, you're my mama nah. You're our mother" he said

Did he really just see me as a mother and nothing else?

Moreso, even the "motherhood" is not mothering again

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It's been 8months since I spoke with David. I'd avoided him even before school reopened and since I came back I'd been ignoring his calls

"Sandra, do you still pray for me? I need all the prayers I can get in this season" read the text he sent me

"Pray ke! He's now anointed so he should pray for himself. He hears God. He has even started going for ministrations in some local churches." I retorted after reading the text

_______________________________________________

It's been 18 full months since we last spoke. Somehow I had began to miss him. I knew I had behaved foolishly. He hadn't acted so wisely but I shouldn't have casted him away. No parent abandons a child because he's acting his age.

I repented before the Lord and started searching for his contact. My joy knew no bounds when I got his contact from one of his friends.

"Hello David. It's Sandra. Sorry for the long break I've so missed you. How's your walk with God? How's your academics? How's......"

"Sandra I'm not sure what to answer. I'm fine bodily but I'm not fine otherwise. And I'll appreciate if you leave me this way cos I'm not planning to leave this life" he said

"So...ooorryy, can you repeat your words and take it slowly. What are you saying?" 

At this time, I was having serious palpitations as my heart was threatening to breakout from my rib cage

"Sandra, in plain words, I'm now a G-boy. I know you'll be hurt. I've cried so much these few months but I know I can't leave this life. I have bills to pay" he said

"No dear! God can supply all your needs. You don't need to go through this route. David remember all the things God told you when you began walking with Him. What about your disciples? What about.....?"

"I'm sick and tired of considering anyone and anything. Where was God few months ago when my sister lost her admission because of ordinary acceptance and tuition fee of 100k? I tried calling you...I tried looking for solace but neither you nor God came around. I'm tired of that life. That life you knew is now my past and please accept the truth and let's move on" he blurted

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How did I lose this soul? How did God hand just one soul to me and I lost him?

Unbridled emotions!

Unbridled anger!

Unbridled expectations!

Those landed me in this quagmire 😭

What will I say to my Lord when I meet Him on the last day?

How will I account for David?

The devil took advantage of my loophole to prey on my disciple😭

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(...to be continued)